Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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