Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
