You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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