wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
