As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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