I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Randomize
