If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
