I feel like I'm in dance class right now
It's just like the Real World with babies
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
