How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
