I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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