whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
