White coat. Heels.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
