He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
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