Sponge bath it is.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
