so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize
