Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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