Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
