My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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