ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
