grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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