I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
