Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
