i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
She needs sedatives and a leash
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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