And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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