If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
oh god was she eating orange peels again
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
