so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
