I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
