My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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