The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize
