This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
