It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
