Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize
