Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
