You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
It's just like the Real World with babies
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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