I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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