I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Randomize
