the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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