Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
