butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
