the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I just made out with a guy for $7.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
