Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Randomize
