wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Randomize
