Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Are we in a gay sports bar?
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Randomize
