good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
