You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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