I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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