If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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