It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
