it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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