and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I could fuck to npr.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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