Three words: puerto rican gang bang
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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